Even wearing a turtleneck, Britney Spears manages to look like white trash

InTouch was not as creative as US magazine

In an effort to not put Jon and Kate on the cover, US magazine brainstormed through the night and came up with a cover story that featured Z-lister Stephanie Pratt and her bulimia story. InTouch, clearly didn't have the time to conjure up such a great story and went to back to old faithful-- Jon and Kate Gosselin.

Call child protection services!

For some reason Dina Lohan has allowed her son Cody to be babysat by her crazy wackjob daughter Lindsay.

Eva Mendes and Jamie Dornan do ads for Calvin Klein

Jamie Dornan used to date both Keira Knightley and Mischa Barton.

Ryan Reynolds is on the cover of EW

Whatever manscaping he's doing on his chest looks weird.

Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher attend the premiere of Bruno in London

We don't find either of these two people funny. Feel free to disagree.

File this under: news that is shocking to no one

Katie Lee Joel (27) and Billy Joel (60) are getting a divorce after five years of marriage. This is Billy Joel's third marriage and was supposed to be his last except he married someone that is young enough to be his granddaughter (going by Jesus Luz's family tree).

Britney's representative says that there is no truth to the rumors that she's getting married to her agent

Ashlee Simpson out and about with son Bronx

Ashlee is looking very pale and skinny-- a little too skinny. As we've stated before, Bronx miraculously does not look like Pete and also doesn't seem to have Ashlee's original nose. It's a Simpson miracle!

Aubrey O'Day is shaken after being robbed of her stuff while walking down the street

Kelis is 8 months pregnant and reportedly broke

Bad timing.

Michelle Pheiffer doesn't like the word "cougar" or being called "old and decrepit"

Some journalist from Germany who doesn't like Michelle Pheiffer, asked her at a recent press conference for her new movie "Cheri" how it feels for her body to be "old and decrepit." ***Update-- that female journalist was actually Karl Lagerfeld in disguise.

Melissa Rycroft will be doing 8 segments this summer on Good Morning America

We'd like her to replace Kelly Ripa. For that matter, we'd like anyone to replace Kelly Ripa.

Sarah Jessica Parker has been having a tough time

SJP is upset that her surrogate who lives in another state than she does, was the target of crooked police who wanted to find out information on the surrogate and sell it to a tabloid. If this story is true, that's really terrible.

Scarlett Johansson looks weird

Angelina Jolie laments that she and Brad have little time together

That's what happens when you decide to have six kids.

Horsey Pratt thinks Playboy is very classy

The theme of the shoot reportedly was: "Really bad porn."

Alessandra Ambrosio shows off her daughter

The daugher is cute, but she's got some major eyebrows.