Mariah and her new husband are on the cover of People

This is all great press for her new album. This marriage will be over before Hillary Clinton finally drops out of the Democratic Primary.

US magazine readers are sick and tired of these two

All of the comments on US magazine's website are negative about this story. One reader claimed that US now stands for "U Suck" and "Useless Stories". We find the whole feud mildly interesting- but then again, we also find "The Bachelor" to be riveting entertainment.

OK magazine writes about the two classiest sisters reuniting

They can share tips about how to lose custody of their children to big losers. In other news, Britney has regained overnight visitation rights with her kids. We actually hope that she's doing better, even though her whole family is a big trainwreck. Keep praying Lynn.

Kate Moss tries to be sexy and fails

She's annoying and still looks like a boy. Feel free to disagree.

Jason Priestly is not likely to be on the 90210 spin-off

He has said that he is interested in reprising his role in some capacity, but it looks like the producers have not asked him yet. We think that if any of the old character (and we'll even include Tori Spelling but not Gabrielle Carteris) are interested in coming back-- they should!

Kylie Minogue's stage outfit is interesting

She was recently awarded in France for her contributions to French culture.

Earth to Ok Magazine: This is Orlando Bloom's girlfriend

Miranda Kerr has been Orlando Bloom's girlfriend for a long time, but the magazines are still reporting that he had a fling with Jennifer Aniston. In other news, it suck to be Kate Bosworth, and not just because she's a skeletal coked out mess.

photo source: Just Jared

The chances of Paris Hilton accidently having sex with Joel Madden are 100%

Russell Crowe officially looks like Nick Nolte's brother

The most important question of the day is: What the hell happened to Russell Crowe?

Gwen Stefani out and about

Natasha Richardson does not pull a Britney during her wardrobe malfunction

She was smart to wear underwear. We know that some of you may disagree.

Found: A much better picture of Tori Spelling

Update: Lindsay Lohan will not be playing a 45 year old hooker with a heart of gold on Ugly Betty

It turns out that she will be playing one of Ugly Betty's former mean classmates. Here she is doing her best to look like she's still in her 20s.

photo source: Just Jared

Elisha Cuthbert struts her stuff in Hawaii

We think she looks great.

Mischa Barton tries to distract us again from her butt and thighs

Trying to look crazy is a good idea.

More Costume Gala photos-- Ivanka finds a dress big enough to fit her breasts!

The best thing about Diane Kruger

We find Diane Kruger boring, but we love Joshua Jackson and we wish he were still with Katie Holmes. Save her Josh!

Two people who would not make good grandparents

We have never met Anna Wintour or Karl Lagerfeld-- but they look frigid, cold and devoid of humor--- in other words similar to Dick Cheney.