This week in Lindsay Lohan

• She will be extending her stay in rehab
• Her father says she has found Jesus or God
• Her 21st birthday has been canceled

Justin Timberlake's somewhat trashy looking mom has now befriended Jessica Biel

Based on her perm, we'll assume Britney Spears was her favorite.

Sharon Osbourne comfirms that Paris Hilton had sex with Jack Osbourne

That's pretty gross- although not as gross as whoever has sex with Kim Jong Il.

Not a good picture

We know that she claims that she is not eating due to her mother's passing. We hope she starts feeling better- her weight loss looks very scary in this photo.

Jennifer Aniston attends some book release

She looks great.

Tara Reid borrowed her boobs from Pamela Anderson

The Olsen twins are classy

In the aftermath of their 21st birthdays- one's wearing a see-through skirt and the other is dressed like a hooker.

How many years until Suri realizes her dad is crazy?

We think she already knows her mom's a zombie.

Gisele lands in London

Dayanara Torres- the ex of Marc Anthony- denies hiring a spy

J Lo and Marc Anthony have recently parted ways with Dayanara's current assistant. They think that she only worked for them in order to gain secrets about them to spill to Dayonara. The biggest secret is how powerful Marc's earplugs are, which he uses in order to withstand J Lo's horrible warblings.

Jessica Alba seems really interested in her boyfriend

Jennifer Garner and Violet

Ben and Jen are pretty pale.

Nicole Richie- world's smartest woman- may be going to jail for up to a year

We're about as sad about this as when her brilliant friend was also sent to the slammer.