Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Our favorite tennis commentator John McEnroe confirms what we've all been suspecting: he, too, thinks that Maria Sharapova and Addy Roddick are dating, though he isn't positive. Mac also picks Sharapova to win the US Open. The doctors would be very surprised if Maria were to win. Mac says Sharapova has finally gotten used to her ever-growing body (she's almost 6-3!!!).
Cameron Diaz's new hair color is like the woman's face in that one Seinfeld episode. In some lighting it looks terrible and in others it looks great. In this shot it looks great.
(Diaz and fellowing annoying actress Drew Barrymore out in West Hollywood)
Good god these girls look freaky. Are they possessed? Do they have bad teeth??? Why don't they ever show them?
(Here the two androids are on some Canadian TV show)
Arizona Cardinal quarterback Matt Leinart is going to be a dad. Apparently, Leinart and 20-year old USC basketball player Brynn Cameron are expecting a baby. We are sure this pregnancy was planned. Wasn't he with Paris Hilton not too long ago? Boy gets around.
US magazine claims that John Mayer and Jessica Simpson are dating. We think that it will end as soon as the doctor gives her the ok that she can talk again. If not, it will end as soon as John Mayer gets a look at this photo. Earth to Jessica: the extensions ain't working for you.
Chris Jericho (who cares)
Lucy Lawless (who cares)
Cheech Marin (ok)
Carly Patterson (great gymnast)
Alfonso Ribeiro (He'll be the best)
Jai Rodriguez (have no idea what he adds to Queer Eye)
Hal Sparks (who cares)
Lea Thompson (who cares)
Paris Hilton's publicist Elliot Mintz used to work with musical genius John Lennon. Now he works with musical moron Paris Hilton. He claimed to the New York Times about his job working for Paris, "If I’m still doing this 12 months from now, I will have failed.” The article also noted that he drinks a bottle of chardonnay a day. Going from John Lennon to Miss STD would drive us to drink ourselves into a stupor too.
Shannon Elizabeth- who has no career- mentioned that she could have been a professional tennis player. Hayden Christensen, who also played tennis once claimed the same thing. Newsflash: "could have been" does not mean that you are a pro tennis player. You probably would have gotten beat by any mediocre Southern California high school player in about 45 minutes.
We don't have to hear anything stupid from Jessica Simpson's mouth for awhile because she's been ordered by doctors not to talk. Hopefully she'll never grace us with her stupid utterances ever again. Here's another request- don't sing ever again either. (From Perez Hilton)
Oh Goody! Jennifer Aniston who hates publicity and attention on her will be a spokesperson for Nike. Good thing Nike's just a small brand that no one has ever heard of. This will help her in her quest to never be noticed or bothered again. (Reported by Just Jared)
What on earth has happened to Andrew Keegan's face? He used to be hot-- but he used to have a career. LeAnn Rimes claimed he was an a-hole after they broke up. We saw him at the airport and he was doing everything he could to get attention on himself. How did he get invited to this Emmy party?
Another actor wants to be a musician. Maybe he'll tour with the Bacon Brothers.
(James Denton played God knows what at an Emmys after party)
Here's Paris' great week:
Paris' album sold a paltry 75,000 copies -next week sales to go down more than 50%
Cher's son Elijah Blue claims that Paris gave him an STD (we don't doubt it)
Paris dissed her ex-friend Tara Reid while trying to get into the club Hyde in LA
Paris wants to go to outer space on Richard Branson's rocket ship
We're all praying this spaceship gets built immediately!!! Just go away!!!