Separated at birth

As one of our readers astutely pointed out, Haylie Duff, Bette Midler, and Mac Tonight bear an uncanny resemblance.

Get over yourselves!!!

Heath Ledger and his 13 year old fiancee Michelle Williams show their love for the paparazzi. while on a luxurious vacation in Mexico. If you hate the razzi so much, Heath and Michelle, then why don't you try vacationing at the Motel 6 in Culver City. The doctors do not feel sorry for you.

Beat down broads

Apparently, Nicole Richie is the missing link between Donatella Versace and stylist Rachel Zoe. We're sad to see super chic Zoe looking so beat down.

Pink's latest efforts to look like Rosie ODonnell

Pink is sportin' a new hair-don't. Given how absolutely unflattering this haircut is, we actually don't think she looks that bad.

World's Worst Mother Contest

There are five contestants- post your comments
1. Shanna Moakler (pictured above with Travis)- we finally figured out what kept her from cheating. She was pregnant during their entire marriage.
2. Kate Moss
3. Denise Richards
4. Dina Lohan
5. Candy Spelling
Who's the world's worst mom?

It's gettin fugly!!!

Travis Barker's latest post on his myspace page is not kind to soon-to-be-ex Shanna Moakler. According to Travis, Shanna just sleeps all day, ignores, their kids, and then goes out and gets drunk all night. In a related story, the doctors have just learned that Kate Moss and Denise Richards have received private parenting lessons from Moakler.

Uh-oh. Are Jenna and Dave already kaputz?

Jenna was looking a little too comfortable with UFC fighter Tito Ortiz.... The doctors are shocked that a porn star would be so unfaithful.

We wish we were this chick

Prince Harry getting a little crazy with the ladies!
(note a sloshed William in the background! Is he drinking a cosmo??)

Scientists shocked: 70 pound girl with implants gets pregnant!

Yes, it's true. Even at an emaciated weight, Posh Beckham is able to get pregnant. The British tabloids are reporting another Beckham brood is on the way. Posh has probably already made her post-pregnancy lypo appointment.

More Crazy Cruise News

TMZ reports that now deceased baseball star, Joe DiMaggio found Cruise to be creepy and too intense. Cruise is an avid baseball fan and would stalk DiMaggio at fan conventions. Katie has also raised eyebrows for her odd behavior at a recent outing. She attended a fundraiser with one of her Scientology handlers and looked depressed and completely zoned out, almost never uttering a word. Apparently there is a covert operation in the works to save her titled, "Operation Save Katie from the World's Biggest Nutcase."

Ben turns 34 today

Ben has told People magazine that fatherhood and his marriage to Jennifer Garner have changed him. We think that they are a really cute couple. This almost redeems them from Gigli and Electra.

No more tax-free shwag

The stars can say bye-bye to all the tax-free goodies they've been getting for showing up at awards shows like the Emmy's and Oscars. The IRS has announced that star shwag bags, which generally total around $30,000 (!!!) are no longer tax-free. The doctors feel very sorry for the stars that they will now have to pay taxes on these items. Especially since each of these stars probably makes more money than the country of Lesotho.

We would pay to hear Kevin Coster in concert like...

...we would pay to have monkeys fly out of our butt.
(Costner playing a show in Iowa)

My name is Haylie Duff. I am so desperate to be as famous as my sister Hillary.

For some reason, Hillary Duff endlessly tries to help big sis Haylie get famous. Hillary, the doctors of pop think you should give up on Haylie. She is just not as cute as you are and just reeks of desperate. Make her your Cacee Cobb, but do not let her star in movies with you anymore. Please.
(the Duff sisters at the premiere of their new snorzeville movie)

Beyonce looks b'youtiful

If we looked this good, we would NOT be dating Jay-Z. Another sad case of beauty and the beast.
(though jay's recent attempts to give poor folk clean water do make him tad more attractive)

We miss these two together!

It's been announced that both Hugh Grant and Elizabeth Hurley will be getting married soon. Hugh has recently become engaged to Jemima Khan, a skinny rich woman who left her Pakistani husband and Elizabeth will soon be getting married to Indian entrepreneur Arun Nayar. We're not sure if he's as rich as Steven Bing, but it's close.

Flats should not be worn by everyone

Rachel Bilson has been asked to join the Romanian gymnastics team.

Britney is likely to be barefoot and pregnant for the rest of her life

It was revealed recently that in the pre-nup for Britney and Kevin, it states that Kevin will receive more money for each child that they have together. Kevin is now the male Shanna Moakler.

People don't want Nick to marry Vanessa

An US magazine poll revealed that 64% of those polled do not want Nick to marry Vanessa. What do you think? Do you like them together?

Brangelina is not over!

Some rags have been trying to report that there is trouble in paradise. Not so.

Denise and Charlie have resolved their first divorce from one another

Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen have resolved their ugly and public divorce. Meanwhile, Denise continues to date Richie Sambora. If we had this body, we would not be dating Richie Sambora.

Dancing with the Stars We've Never Heard of

The new line up for Dancing with the Stars has been announced. The list includes total has-beens, people we've never heard of, an athlete and big slimeball Mario Lopez (the guy who decided to sleep with other women at his bachelor party before he was to marry the beautiful Ally Landry). Jerry Springer, Tucker Carlson (a stupid political pundit), Vivica A Fox, Harry Hamlin, Joey Lawrence, Sara Evans, Willa Ford, Monique Coleman, Shanna Moakler, Emmitt Smith in addition to Lopez, pictured above, will be showing us if they can dance, and desperately hoping that this will help their fledgling careers.